What's Wrong With Him?
by ChoiSeungHyun110487TOP
Summary: Naruto laughs at things that shouldn't be laughed at. Insanity? No. NOT YAOI. R&R!


Asumi: Naruto! Do the disclaimer, please?

Naruto: Okay! *takes a dep breath* What was I gonna say again?

Asumi: *sweatdrops* The disclaimer!

Naruto: Oh, right. Asumi-chan does not own me ---

Asumi: Not you. The show or anime or manga or whatever!

Naruto: Fine. Asumi-chan does not own Naruto. She only wishes to.

Asumi: Damn right.

WARNING: Naruto knew the meaning from the start, and was just kidding with Sasuke. :)

-

Team 7 was on a mission to Kirigakure. They were still in Konoha when Naruto suddenly laughed.

"Dobe, what are you laughing at?"

"The posts, the trees, and the sticks."

"What's so funny about that?" Sakura asked.

Naruto suddenly stopped laughing. "Nothing."

Sasuke and Sakura looked at Kakashi. He shrugged. "Don't mind him."

Then they continued on with their journey.

-

They were sitting around the campfire. Kakashi was reading his perverted book, Sakura was writing on a scroll, Sasuke was sharpening his weapons, and Naruto was eating ramen. A typical night with Team 7. Almost, if Naruto hadn't laughed.

"What?" Sakura hissed, annoyed.

"Teme!" Naruto clutched his stomach, gasping for air.

"What the hell are you laughing at, dobe?!"

"Oh, nothing, just your kunai, katana, and your shuriken."

"What's wrong with it?" Sasuke scowled.

"Nothing." Naruto's laughs faded into chuckles.

Kakashi closed his book, stood up and yawned. "Let's hit the sack. We have another day of traveling tomorrow. Good night." The members of Squad 7 got inside their tents.

-

(The next day)

Sasuke was shaking Naruto's tent. "Oi, dobe, wake up."

Naruto groaned. "Give me five more minutes, please."

"No. Kakashi-sensei said to wake up NOW." When Naruto still didn't budge, Sasuke had enough. He zipped the tent 'door' down, pulled Naruto's foot, and dragged him to the nearest body of water, which was a waterfall. Sasuke tossed him into the water.

Naruto, woken up by the sudden drop of temperature, thrashed in the water, panicking. "I'm drowning! No! Help me! I don't wanna die yet!"

Sasuke, who had been watching this scene, smirked. "Dobe. Calm down. It's only up to your waist."

"What?" Naruto tried to stand up. "Oh. Yeah. What's that sound? Is that a ---?" Then he turned around to see the massive waterfalls. He laughed. Again.

"Oh. The waterfalls are funny now. Okay, I get it. I'll call Kakashi-sensei." Sasuke walked away from the crazed lunatic.

His hands in his pockets, Sasuke walked up to Kakashi. "Sensei, look at the moron. He's laughing at the falls."

Kakashi sweatdropped. "What's wrong with him?"

"Everything?" Sakura piped up.

Kakashi sighed. "I guess you're right, Sakura. Sasuke, call him. We're going."

-

Sakura panted. "Sensei, can we stop for a while? I'm exhausted."

"Yeah, sure." The team dropped their packs.

(A few minutes later)

Gritting his teeth in annoyance, Sasuke tried to ignore the set of unblinking blue eyes staring at his every move. Why was the moron _staring_ at him?

He took another sip of water from his water bottle. The travel had been monotonous. He and Naruto bickered like children, although he was acting slightly more mature than the blonde, and he had pummeled his teammate into the ground. Quick. Simple. Extremely boring.

They had gone through that routine a dozen times before they had agreed it was a good time to take a break. That had been five minutes ago, and they had both settled into the shade to cool off. It was also five minutes ago when Naruto had pulled out a small, thin book and began to read. He had never seen the blonde read during one of their breaks. And it was also ten minutes ago that the staring began. The idiot would read for a handful of minutes, stare, and return to reading again. At least that was the case until three minutes ago; the occasional staring had become a full out ogle.

Just what was so bloody fascinating about him drinking water?

Not able to take it any more – it was even more disconcerting than having a whole herd of fangirls stare at him like a piece of meat – he took a quick gulp of water, swallowed and turned icy eyes towards the blonde.

"What are you _staring_ at?" he hissed out, congratulating himself for not adding a scream of rage at the end of the sentence. Sakura looked up at the two.

Naruto pulled himself out of the trance he had put himself in. "Huh?"

"What. Are. You. _Staring._ At?" he spat out, clenching his fists.

"Oh! Your drink bottle."

"My – " Drink bottle? "What?"

"Drink bottle. You know the thing you were drinking out of before – "

"I know what it is!" He snapped and forced himself to take in a calming breath. "_Why_ were you staring at it?"

"Well..." .

Sasuke gnashed his teeth together and glared, which seemed to be the cue Naruto was looking for because the teen perked right up and gave the Uchiha a toothy grin. _The little fuck!_

"It says in here that the only reason why everyone wants a drink bottle is because they're phallic symbols – "

The mouth of the bottle still in his mouth, Sasuke choked on the water he was currently drinking, yanked the plastic container away and looked like he had just swallowed something...vile.

" – and I was trying to figure out what phallic means." Blue eyes narrowed accusingly. "You know what it means don't you, Sasuke?"

Too busy with hacking his head off, Sasuke couldn't answer even if he wanted to. Not that he wanted to. There was more staring from Naruto as the blonde scuttled to up to him.

"Tell me!" Sasuke shook his head and was relieved to finally get the coughing under control.

"Why not?" the blonde whined. Nothing Naruto did was going to pry the meaning out of him.

"Right, you don't know. You're just pretending you know so you can feel all high and mighty!"

"I do know... But that's..." Sasuke coughed.

Naruto huffed. "Tell me what phallic means!"

"Phallus. Noun. Plural can be either phalli or phalluses. One: A penis, especially when erect. Or two: A representation of an erect penis symbolising fertility or potency." The ever familiar drawl came from above their heads.

Kakashi's eye curved in amusement as Sasuke glared death at him. Jumping off from the tree he had been perched in, he snapped the book shut – both boys were shocked it was a dictionary instead of Icha Icha Paradise, although Sasuke wouldn't be surprised if the definition was lodged somewhere in the teacher's perverted book.

"I'm surprised you need to look it up," Sasuke said dryly and turned his attention to a shell shocked Naruto. "Naruto?"

When that got him no response, he waved his hand in front of the blonde's face.

"Pha – bott – pen – " Blonde brows furrowed as Naruto tried to make his brain digest that bit of information. "Oh my God that's sick!"

Kakashi cocked his head to the side. "Not really. Sure, Sasuke does a lot of posing, and yes, he doesn't really need to prove his virility and fertility..."

"What!" Sasuke glared, and without another thought, he grabbed the bottle from Naruto's hands and threw it at Kakashi.

"Shit! You just threw your phallic symbol at Kakashi!" Naruto crowed in disbelief, his eyes were far too wide and held far too much excitement for Sasuke's comfort.

"That." Naruto pointed to the bottle that Kakashi had caught. "You threw your penis at him! Sensei!" the blonde screeched, "You're holding his penis!"

Kakashi grimaced at the imagery. "That was not my penis, you moron!" Sasuke wanted to strangle the blonde and beat the boy to a bloody pulp.

"Was so! It was in the dictionary!"

"You bloody fool! My penis is in my pants!"

Naruto narroowed his eyes at Sasuke. "Let me see."

"Hell no."

"...Naruto?"

"Yes, Sakura-chan?"

"Why were you laughing at the trees, at Sasuke's weapons and the waterfall."

"They're phallic symbols too." Kakashi coughed when he heard it.

"Trust me, Sakura. You don't wanna know _the exact reason_ he was laughing at those." Sasuke said.

"Oh. Perverts. Why can't I have a normal team?"

-

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Didja like it? R&R. ü


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